Have you ever been in a group of ladies (or men) that are faith family – Christian brothers and sisters – but that you would consider “new friends”? Like you have an immediate bond with them, already love them, but don’t really “know them, know them”? I would imagine many of us have been or will be in that situation at some point. The group that is sitting around one evening for a “prayer session” asking for personal prayer requests.
What’s on your heart?
Do you have any burdens we can pray about?
What would YOU like to share?
Those who know me…I think…would say I am pretty much an open book. Deemed queen of TMI, I have victimized (not on purpose) well-meaning people who simply ask “how are you today”, to be polite. Next thing you know…I’m telling them WAAAAY more than I should be (face palm) and I can’t even stop myself. Not even when I see their eyes widen, shoulders tense up, and them frantically looking around the room for an escape. I usually end up apologizing, realizing just how much I’ve shared, and either feeling exposed or or a little weird (FACEPALM).
So as a person who was sitting among “new friends” recently and being asked to bear my soul, you can imagine my trepidation to spill my life story…because…seriously…
WHERE. DO. I. START?
When my heart is heavy. I am overloaded with responsibility. I am concerned about my children and many aspects of their life. I have so many changes currently happening in my life simultaneously, coupled with a few wild cards who’s actions will impact my life as well as my children’s and knowing I have no control over them. When I KNOW if I start asking for “prayers” about one aspect of my life, 30 minutes later I’ll be pouring out my life story. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I’ll be
crying sobbing and looking into the eyes of amazing women who meant well and really do want “to know”. But it will be nearly impossible for them to hide their disbelief, concern, and judgment. The looks in their eyes that say “uh…ok…let’s pray then”…
I mean seriously. “It’s complicated” seems like the most accurate AND easiest answer. In that moment, I chose to remain silent, comforted by God’s KNOWLEDGE OF EXACTLY WHERE EVERYTHING STARTED. I didn’t have the energy or courage to share anything and that was ok. I felt the Spirit sending up words from my heart & mind to my Heavenly Father on my behalf. As I sat there with the other beautiful, Godly, Christian sisters, I was thankful for the gift of prayer and God’s instruction for us to confess our troubles to friends and bear one another’s burdens. Our brothers and sisters are an extension of our loving father. But “it’s complicated” was even too much for me to try and articulate. So my silence had to be enough for that day.
the whole truth & nothing but,