Exposed Series, Get Real Series

You CANNOT Make This Shi…Ahem, Stuff Up!


  • I don’t have time to properly write about the goings on in my life lately
  • I seriously can’t make it up
  • Truth is stranger than fiction
  • It would be comical if it was happening to someone else (but it’s not)
  • it really is worth documenting if for no other reason
    • I can look back and see how God worked things out
    • Others may find comfort and solace in knowing “there is always someone worse off than me”
    • It will give me a “safe” outlet to vent without known judgment or seen eye rolls
    • It just might touch someone else and help them along on their journey

So…here goes.

GOOD NEWS (because I always like to talk about the good stuff first)

  • I arrived at the BEACH on Thursday evening abt 8:30 pm and got to spend 2.5 days and 2 nights at the beach.
  • The weather was great!
  • While there, I had the most amazing Bushwacker milkshake, a delicious avocado/egg/fried green tomato breakfast biscuit with perfectly cooked hashbrowns
  • I didn’t witness anyone get bitten by a shark
  • MK and Carlie got to parasail for the first time ever.
  • I have some AMAZING people in my life that help make the tough stuff bearable.
  • My girls are healthy and happy.
  • My boys are enjoying independence and working towards their dreams as adults.

good news


  • Shortly after I arrived at the beach…I got a strange text message at 3:00 am Friday morning. As it turns out…my ex broke his leg, has decided there is no God, and that I am “psycho” for believing in God. hmmmm….and yes, he had Ava Reese with him…
  • Since baby daddy will be having surgery (break above the ankle/right leg), in a cast and on crutches, when I go out of town next week for work, he won’t be able to take care of Ava Reese after all…so yeah…I’ll need to get those 4 days covered.
  • I got a speeding ticket on the way home from the beach in Bay Minette (it was legit, my fault) UGGGG!!! (side note: I called MK right afterwards to remind her to keep it slow and be safe on her way home. She and Carlie were in her car and about an hour behind me)
  • Yep…you probably saw this one coming. MK also got pulled over in Bay Minette on her way home from the beach!!!…but no worries…it wasn’t a speeding ticket…nope (that’s my girl)…she got pulled over…wait for it…NOT pulling over (changing lanes) when an officer had ANOTHER person pulled over…AND…they gave her a TICKET!!!  Yeppers…2 tickets within 1.5 hrs of each other in Bay Minette. Good times.
  • I got back to work bright and early Monday morning, only to receive a call from Ava Reese’s caregiver saying she’d had 3 bouts of diarrhea and would need to be picked up asap. Poor thing…
  • SURE…I’m happy to leave work when I am slammed, behind on several things from being out for a few days, and have my CEO in town for the week…but no worries…I am a MOM first AND I can work from home the rest of the day…unless I have a bizarre health scare and have to call the paramedics or some CRAZY (unlikely) scenario like that…duh…kidding…of course that wouldn’t happen…
  • Until…it does. Hmmmm…wait for it…
  • Once AR was down for a nap around 1:30 or so, I was set to go…pop open my laptop and get ready to work, no stress.

I’m fine, she’s fine, you’re fine. We. Are. ALL. FINE!!! Right??

  • Then…hot, body heat, sweats, ice pack, flush feeling head to toe, white face, dilated pupils, proFUSE sweating, EXTREME NAUSEA, watering mouth, trembling, shakes, weak knees, confusion, slurred speech, disoriented, sitting on the edge of the bathtub with my face in the toilet waiting to vomit…home alone w/a 4 yr old…20 minutes later nausea subsides somewhat and laying down on the bed, extremely weak and exhausted, I look up symptoms online…because…duh…I’m a dr. you know! Possible conditions include:
    • low blood sugar
    • extreme high blood pressure
    • heart attack
  • Hmmmm…if I call paramedics and nothing is wrong, I’ll look and feel like a big “dummy”. If I don’t call and pass out…Ava is stuck here by herself and oh yeah…I could die.
  • 90 minutes later…still so weak, I couldn’t carry a cube of sugar. Unable to get up or think clearly, I decide it’s time.
    • Ava Reese, mommy is going to call the dr. and they are going to come check on mommy. When they knock on the door, you can let them in…ok? Yes, mam! 
    • 911, what’s your emergency?
    • Paramedics arrive. (just for the record, the 20 minutes they were there, Ava Reese introduced herself and proceeded to talk their ears off like they were besties. She seemed to think it was perfectly normal for 5 “doctors” in blue to walk into our home, pull out machines to use on me, while asking me questions, some of which I couldn’t answer because I was confused and  dozing off. She’s such a champ!)
    • Ms. Owen…the tests show your blood pressure is extremely high and your blood sugar is extremely low. Your heart, however, is ok.

VERDICT?  Probably just stress induced. OH…well that’s great news…looks like I don’t have really any major health problem. Just need to avoid that thing that triggers bizarre, scary, health problems and I’ll be good to go!


Seriously though…after all this and YES, I still believe in God. I KNOW He’s good ALL THE TIME. I know the things not mentioned in this blog post like some significant problems hanging over my head that have to be figured out, financial obligations that are ever present, and long list of responsibilities contribute to the big ol’ stress whale that seems to have swallowed me up (holla, Jonah)! Sometimes, I do try to “light a fire”, be still, pray, and listen to God. But mostly just living in fight or flight. My priorities are upside down.

Let go more and let God.

Yep, it’s on the list. Check.

the whole truth & nothing but,

1 thought on “You CANNOT Make This Shi…Ahem, Stuff Up!”

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