Confessions, Exposed Series, Top 10

2018 – The Potential Pitfalls

Today is blog post 3 out of 4 in my 2018 New Year series. Starting with “The Process”, moving to “The Plan”, admitting “The Potential Pitfalls” (cause I know they are coming & want to be prepared) and tomorrow will end with “The Proposed Pattern & Practices” (the action plan & items that will help me pull this off).

Nothing is quite as defeating as setting a goal and falling short. For anyone that has ever planned to lose weight and then cheated on their diet, started exercising and then stopped going to the gym, or quit smoking and picked up a cigarette after the 3rd day, knows what that disappointment in yourself feels like. Most often, after we have a minor setback, we tend to use that as an excuse or permission.

EXCUSE – I was starving…I’ll go back tomorrow or next week, I was sore, it was cold…I was sooooo irritable, it was for my family’s own good.
PERMISSION – Since I’ve already blown it and eaten those desserts, I’ll never lose weight now, so it’s ok…Skipping is not a big deal, in fact, I think I’ve pulled a muscle and I really need to listen to my body…perhaps I was overdoing it…It’s not like I have lung cancer. Besides, if it hasn’t killed me by now what’s a few more cigarettes.

See how that works? We’ve all been there. Making “resolutions” (really more like talking about what we’d like to change about ourselves but not having a strong plan or RESOLVE to actually make it happen) to better our lives. To “improve” our health, habits, and/or relationships. But then when things get tough AND THEY WILL…We simply give up. Walk away. Let it go.

My scripture and 5 words that are guiding my 2018, will be challenging to pull off.

It ain’t gonna be easy, y’all.

That’s for certain. In fact, I’ve come up with my very own Top 10 Reasons Why It’s Gonna Be Tough list.

  1. I am not a very disciplined person (but I am pretty determined).
  2. I have a big mouth.
  3. I am a natural critic although generally an optimist.
  4. I am very nosy.
  5. I don’t like to be still.
  6. I have a lot to say about a lot of things/subjects.
  7. I struggle with taking on too much stuff for too many people.
  8. I love social media.
  9. I am a classic over-sharer.
  10. Sometimes I get stuck in talking about how busy I am instead of actually DOING the stuff I should be doing.

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LIVING A QUIET LIFE – I am no stranger to living out loud. Social media provides a platform for people like me who tend to thrive knowing what’s going on with others and sharing my life. While there are many good things that it brings, it isn’t necessarily conducive to living a quiet life and being introspective. In fact, it has caused me to be more concerned with others in the world (good friends mostly) than myself or my own family at times. If I am more interested in where Sally Jo is going on vacation than what classes my own son is taking in college, that’s a problem. Yes?

 

dave willisIt’s a hard truth. One of which I don’t want to admit or type for the world few loyal readers to see. BUT, it’s part of exposing myself. Putting it out there so I can come clean and hold myself accountable. It also contributes to my personal discontentment, envy, and pride (can I get an amen!?). All of which do not line up with minding my own business and living a quiet life.

MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS – You know how sometimes you just have to focus on your OWN family and get your OWN house in order before doing anything else? Yeah, that’s what 2018 looks like for me. It’s time for me to be 100% clear and focused on my #1 priority! My peeps! It’s time to draw the circle in and be laser focused.

help

I can’t change people. 
I can’t fix people.
I can change myself.
I can work on fixing myself.
I can be honest with others AND myself.
I can support my children, husband, other family members, and closest friends.

One of my challenges will be to stay focused on the BIG picture and not get stuck in the little stuff. I am easily sidetracked. It is not uncommon for me to be swept up in the daily to-dos and lose sight of the “TO-BEs”.

I struggle with assessing priority level. When presented with a job, task, or activity, I tend to place them ALL at the top of my list. Like everything is do or die…critical status. It’s a bad habit and creates increased anxiety and productivity suffers.

Being present…like REALLY present with my husband and children means I will have to be engaged in their life (genuinely interested), listen to what they are saying (not just “hear” them), and understand what they need (and work to fill those needs). That’s MY business and I need to be about it.

WORKING WITH MY HANDS/BEING BUSY – Idle hands and minds are the devil’s workshop. Therefore, you can count on me to be busy and especially with my hands. I will continue to write in 2018. That’s covered under “Creative”. It’s a healthy, safe way for me to express my thoughts & feelings. Perhaps it may even provide, on some small-scale, entertainment, internal analyzing, and/or support for my readership (you are NEVER alone). I truly do write for myself and while a few “I really enjoyed your blog post” comments feel good, that is not my motive for writing. That’s why it’s a good avenue and I’m still allowing it to fall under “living a quiet life and minding my own business”.

So…there it is folks…essentially all the reasons why I will likely fail, may not succeed, will probably face-plant, will have to work really hard to make my goals and dreams for 2018, a reality! Now comes the real business of making it happen. Today is the first day that I put into practice my mini-goals to achieve the big ones.

Come back tomorrow for my final post in this series with my Proposed Patterns & Practices. I mean let’s face it…I need to re-read them from time to time to remind myself of exactly what I am trying to accomplish.

the whole truth & nothing but,
jco

 

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