All the Feels, Broken, Exposed Series

I’m Not That Girl

You know the one…she’s in her late 30’s early 40’s. She is a sahm, with 3 kids, successful part-time business in real estate (only works when she wants to), attractive, positive thinker, and an amazing cook. Normally she would fall into the category of the woman all women love to hate, but she’s so sweet and genuine, that even the most envious of women can’t hate her. Instead, they want to be like her. This woman is Godly. I mean like “read your Bible daily and her children rise up and call her blessed” kind of Godly. Though not perfect, she genuinely strives to be her best self daily. She adores her husband and while they have their riffs, she always manages to gracefully yield to his leadership and final answer. Her value is far greater than rubies. He has a good thing and knows it.

Yep. I’m not that girl.

Sure, she has issues too. Don’t we all? BUT. It’s just not the same. She faces everyday struggles like exhaustion, over-committing, trying to make time to foster friendships, and questioning if what she has chosen for her life is enough. But, somehow this woman always figures it out without doing anything stupid, having a major episode of road rage, or saying the “s” word in front of her kids (and I’m not talking about stupid).

Yep. I’m not that girl.

Now…let’s use our imaginations for just a minute. Think about the train wreck you saw that time. Visible to the naked eye were a few train cars laying off the tracks on their sides along with some twisted metal and a few railroad ties tossed about. No human carnage is visible but based on the massive disaster you can see, it is evident there are injuries that will need to be treated. As an onlooker, you can’t help but stare at the mess. Your mind immediately forces you to imagine what may have caused the accident. “Assuming it was an accident, that is”, your pessimistic/skeptical voice chants. Once the gazing shock wears off, your next inclination is to help. But you see the twisted metal and notice the leaking liquid (of which you imagine is likely some highly explosive, will spontaneously combust any second kind of dangerous liquid) and immediately feel scared and overwhelmed. Then at the same moment in which you are feeling vulnerable to physical harm, your mind thinks of the potential danger to those strangers inside the train car. Within seconds, a once scared psyche transitions to an invincible superhero running straight into the danger zone.

Are you there? Can you feel the awe of viewing the scene in front of you? The concern? The danger? The shock of how those heavy railroad ties could be “tossed about” like dead twigs from a tree? The wonder of how giant pieces of steel can be twisted in every direction like a bread tie left on the kitchen counter? Do you feel the strong urge to help those poor strangers inside who are injured? Fix the problem? Save the day?

I’m that girl.

WAIT, not the girl that comes up on the scene. I’m not that girl.

I’m the engineer. You know…the one driving that train. Yeah. I’m that girl.

the whole truth & nothing but,

5 thoughts on “I’m Not That Girl”

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