Sorry mom (I can always count on her to read my work)…I know it isn’t ladylike and becoming of a southern belle to use potty words…but it’s kind of my thing and calling it by any other name would be unauthentic. Anyone who has been around me for any length of time has likely heard me say “I can get over just about anything as long as people just own their own crap, because we ALL have it”. They know I believe it and live it. Look, we all have it…no?
Ok, call it baggage, water under the bridge, issues, whatever, I call it crap. It’s the mess that you’ve made of things in the past. It’s part of who you are and how you respond and react to the world. I say if you have ever been around someone who acts as though they don’t have it…run away (like fast, in the other direction)…yeah that’s right. They are living in serious denial and you don’t want that oblivion to rub off on you. You can’t fix or be cognizant of how it may impact others if you aren’t willing to admit it.
I have issues, people. I deal with discontentment on a daily basis. Letting it lead my words, thoughts, and actions can make those around me feel insufficient. It breeds unhappiness and an unsettled feeling that makes me feel ungrateful. Being discontent and always needing/wanting more is ugly, yall. I’m not just talking about stuff either. In fact, I don’t care a lot about material things. My problem is more about getting better, becoming smarter, being stronger, yada yada yada. Did you see what I did there? Getting better, becoming smarter, being stronger…what is wrong with that? Don’t those all sound like positive life goals, yes? Well, in moderation, they are. But if not kept in check those things can become idols and joy thieves.
Think about it…
Getting better – nothing is ever good enough. There is always something better. That brings out my critical nature. Exhausting those around me and making them feel like they aren’t good enough. Status quo isn’t just ok, it’s bad.
Becoming smarter – I don’t have time to spend with family and friends. I may miss out on learning something from a book or a new job skill. That is more important than spending time with you. I am smarter than you.
Being stronger – Usually strife and tragedy are cornerstones to making someone stronger. So do I thrive on crisis? Do I need a continued life lesson in chaotic turmoil to feel ok?
Never being ok, feeling settled, or being able to relax is not a healthy life goal, my friend. Perhaps the most compelling thing to remember about discontentment is that it is DANGEROUS. It is sinful and leads to more sin. It’s a dead-end road. In an article I read recently, 6 Reasons Discontentment is Disobedience to God, the author shares how Paul, in Philippians chapter 4, discovered how to be content. It goes on to further explain the six ways in which discontentment is disobedience to God. OUCH!
So…this is me owning my own crap. Putting it down on paper is the first step to me being AWARE of how my own discontentment is disobedience and how it can make other people feel. Especially when I transfer those feelings on to others. That’s not fair. I should let them have their own crap and not share mine ;).
This was the first post in my Exposed Series. I’ll be tagging to that topic from time to time. Just keep coming back if you are nosy and want to know all about my crap…cause I got a lot of it, people! For realz! It’s mostly for my benefit in an effort to stay humble, be reminded of my brokenness and need for grace. Hopefully it will help someone along the way.
Owning your own crap takes courage. Be courageous. (yeah, you can quote me on that)
I’ll leave you to watch this VIDEO because 1. It’s hilarious! 2. It illustrates that while people may know that you have it (or do it), they don’t necessarily want to smell it or know the details. 3. Her hair color is stunning, it looks amazing with that turquoise dress, and because pearls really do go with everything. How’s that for ladylike, momma?